Monday, August 27, 2012

How to be the Perfect Wife

    
    
This was taken from Helen B. Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood, published by Pacific Press in 1965. The course was designed to teach women how to be happy in marriage.

HAVE DINNER READY
Plan ahead, even the night before to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
Women aren't hungry when they come home from work?
PREPARE YOURSELF
Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. This will also make you happy to see him instead of too tired to care. Turn off the worry and be glad to be alive and grateful for the man who is going to walk in. While you are resting you can be thinking about your Fascinating Womanhood assignment and all you can do to make him happy and give his spirits a lift. When you arise, take care of your appearance. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
Resting? Resting? Put a ribbon in your hair?  
CLEAR AWAY THE CLUTTER 
Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. in a bucket or wastebasket and put them in the back bedroom for sorting later. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. Having the house in order is another way of letting him know that you care and have planned for this homecoming.
Put books and toys in a bucket?  HUH?  And back bedroom for sorting later.  What exactly is a "back bedroom"?   Sounds kinky.
PREPARE THE CHILDREN 
Take just a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces (if they are small) comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them look the part.
HAHAHAHA!!!! 
MINIMIZE ALL NOISE 
Especially give heed to this if your husband has to join rush hour traffic. At the time of his arrival eliminate noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet at the time of their father's arrival. Let them be a little noisy beforehand to get it out of their system.
Encourage the children to be QUIET!  Get it out of their system….. HAHAHAHA!  Apparently this author never had children!
BE HAPPY TO SEE HIM 
Greet him with a warm smile and act glad to see him. Tell him that it is good to have him home. This may make his day worthwhile. If there is any romance left in you, he needs it now.
"Act" glad to see him.  Why do you have to "act".  Aren't you naturally glad to see your husband?
SOME DON'TS
~Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Solve the problems you can before he gets home and save those you must discuss with him until later in the evening.
~Also, don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as a minor problem when compared with what he might have gone through that day.
~Don't allow the children to rush at him with problems or requests. Allow them to briefly greet their father but save demands for later.
Yada, yada, yada...
MAKE HIM COMFORTABLE 
Have him lean back into a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to massage his neck and shoulders and take off his shoes. Don't insist on this however. Turn on music if it is one of his pleasures. Speak in a soft, soothing, pleasant voice. Allow him to relax - to unwind.
OMG! Really??
LISTEN TO HIM 
You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, then he will be a more responsive listener later.
A responsive listener is stretching it. Dontcha think?
MAKE THE EVENING HIS 
Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and to relax. If he is cross or irritable, never fight back. Again, try to understand his world of strain.
So in other words, you are a prisoner to your own home and cannot say one word about it.

THE GOAL 
Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Then add to this the application of all the principles of Fascinating Womanhood and your husband will want to come home. He will rather be with you than with anyone else in the world and will spend whatever time he can possibly spare with you. Try living all of these rules for his homecoming and see what happens. This is the way to bring a man home to your side, not by pressure, persuasion or moral obligation.
He will WANT to come home??  He BETTER come home!  
He will "spend whatever time he can possible spare with you"???
    HMMMM….. 
    • I Am fascinated that women even read this book.  
    • I'm fascinated that a woman would follow this advice.
    • I'm fascinated that there is no book called "How to be the Perfect Husband".
    I'm certainly glad this isn't the 1960s!  
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    19 pretty purplexing comments:

    1. Totally cracking up. Wow. I mean, there are some genuinely good ideas but let's meet reality here shall we? lol I'm especially loving the "act like you are happy to see him" part. Naturally I would hope you wouldn't have to act that part out!! And back bedroom? haha yes quite kinky. Ohh my goodness.

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    2. Cater to his whims while he apparently gets to do ANYTHING he wants???? That was back in the DARK AGES.

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    3. Oh my goodness. So ridiculous. Like you Tami, I'm so glad it's not the 60's.

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    4. Unbelievable and so funny really! I could not live in those times! Yikes!

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    5. "Act like you are happy to see him" ... if that's the case, then we need more help than the book can provide! ha! And I'll bet that most men, like my hubby, wouldn't even notice whether the tables had been dusted ... maybe if it's been several weeks since I last dusted, but otherwise, no.

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    6. My husband wouldn't notice either. I am my worst critic and I don't like a dusty house. ;-)

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    7. I know, really? I do remember my grandmother having dinner ready for my grandfather and giving him his 'drink', and his mail waiting next to his recliner.

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    8. I'm with you Laura. Some of the ideas make sense, to a degree. But it goes both ways. Hubby has to meet your needs too!

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    9. OMG!!! This was hilarious!!!

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    10. ok...wait..... what the heck did I just read? I am curious to know if this is also around the time the divorce rate started to increase, because seriously - who could do all that?
      I will admit to always trying to greet him with a welcoming kiss - I mean, that's just nice. And I don't immediately hit him with all kinds of problems as soon as he comes home - that's just mean - I wouldn't want that. But seriously -- wash the children? comb my hair and put lipstick on? Fix him a drink?! I draw the line there. I love him and I'll do my best.....but he's not getting any of my wine!

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    11. Hahaha! No one gets my wine either!!!

      ~Tami
      Sent from Tami's iPhone

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    12. I saw the title of this post and thought, "I need to read this one!" After reading it, I decided that I will just have to continue being a mediocre wife!

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    13. "Stand by your man" was released in 1968. I was more influenced by the revolutionary culture of the sixties which started spreading in the late sixties. I don't know when the first bra burning occurred but that really did get most guys' attention. These ideas/rules remind of the fifties and the "Father Knows Best" type of image. Oddly enough (looking back is so different than being there) one of the industries to benefit from the woman's rights movement was the tobacco industry. Check out the Virgina Slims ads.

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    14. I do the welcome kiss too. Some of the ideas aren't all that bad. But some of them are just down right CRAZY!

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    15. Medicore… haha! That's PERFECT!

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    16. It reminded me of "Leave it to Beaver". Tobacco, huh? So women fought for their rights, only to get cancer later in life from cigarettes? ;-)

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    17. Bahahahahahaha OMG I totally needed this silly laugh today!

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