Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Ear Worm {Tuesday Coffee Chat}

This weeks topic from Tuesday Coffee Chat:
Ear Worms  What's currently wiggling round stuck in your head?

There has been a lot of family drama going on for quite some time. Seems like eternity. The family can be very dysfunctional and I hate being sucked into it. It's draining mentally and physically.  It's one of the reasons I stopped blogging in September and October.

Family drama has brought out the worst in our relatives.  It seems no one really has all the facts to make proper judgement or listens to only one side of the story.  It's easy to act irrational or make wrong decisions when one listens to a distorted version from only one person.   Placing blame does not solve the issue.  It's sad watching family members walk away from one another instead of asking for someone else's personal version.

Some of us were looking at long-term solutions and others were talking about short-term solutions.  Sadly neither party could reach a compromise from lack of communication.

It makes sense to talk out the problems, even with people who are not as close to the issue.  I'm all for it.  It seems, however, that complaints and criticisms are being made thru third parties instead of being discussed with the appropriate person involved.

I have reached out to my 'inner circle' to discuss the issues I am dealing with.  This 'inner circle' isn't pitting one family member against another and I am lucky to have close friends who can help me look at another perspective.

Recently I have been resentful.  I admit it's not healthy to do so.  I even lashed out once out of disgust over the situation.  I am ready to walk away from it all. I cannot go through another bout of depression.  I do not want the stress of this drama flaring my bipolar.  Also, I am afraid that long term damage will be done to our family.

Pray for us.
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16 pretty purplexing comments:

  1. sorry to hear this, Tam. I hope works out as it should and is resolved quickly.


    *hug*

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  2. Tami, I'm so sorry to hear/read this. And I'm even sorrier to say that I can completely sympathize as we are going through a very similar situation from the sounds of it. It's absolutely sad and terrible that these things have to happen, especially since they can be avoided. Hang in there!!! xoxo

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  3. Family drama is definitely the worst kind of ear worm - ever! And I am so sorry that you are caught in the midst of it. But I think you've already done the wise thing in stepping back - for your own sake. Because your own little family should come first and always be protected from any external force that might threaten to weaken the bonds.

    We have a situation too - and we completely removed ourselves from it (for now at least) because we have to protect our nucleus first. And quite frankly, anyone who would cause such a fuss as to mess up my happy home? You are not acting in my best interests, or my spouse, or my children: so Take Off. Someone who cared about us, truly - would not do that. They would not bring strife into my home. period.
    As far as this person is concerned, it's not a matter that we Don't love them; but rather we are waiting for them to deal with whatever they are going through, and then hopefully we can be back in right relationship with them. Since they don't want our help - there's not much else we can do (but pray). But I will not allow them to bring that negativity, chaos and even violence in this case, into my own. Just No.

    Will always keep you in prayers :)

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  4. It is sad. Especially when it is one person causing all the drama. People take sides without understanding all the facts. It makes me sick to my stomach to see relatives act this way. Thank you.
    I hope your family situation resolves sooner than later. xo

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  5. The dynamics of the family have kept me involved longer than I would have liked. You are right that it's healthier for me to remove myself for the sake of my immediate family. I have gone through counseling over the years and worked too hard to become a better person. I refuse to go back down the path of destruction. The dysfunctional past I lived in doesn't help the situation either. You said it perfectly "I will not allow them to bring that negativity, chaos ..". That is exactly how I feel.


    I appreciate your comment Les. You have a way of making me put things into perspective. I love you for that! xo

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  6. When I see Ear Worms - all I think of is the Star Trek movie with Kahn... wasn't there worms or something that came out of his ears? :)

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  7. Sometimes family dynamics are the worst. You certainly have done the right thing by stepping back and taking time for yourself. I am sorry you are going through all that and hope it gets resolved soon.

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  8. It's been a long time since I've seen that movie. I'll have to watch it again and let you know. =)

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  9. Thank you. I hope it ends well too.

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  10. I have something way on the other side of serious posted on my blog today. Remember that silly contest I had? Well browse over from some silly news.
    All the best with this serious stuff. Bad days make you want to become Peter Pan.

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  11. I think I would rather be Tinker Bell. She always seems happy and gets to spread fairy dust! =)
    I'll go check out your blog.

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  12. So sorry you're going through this. It's so stressful.
    I have ex-husband drama (my kids' dad) going on all the time. The kind that any time my brain isn't occupied, I stress about it. It sucks.

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  13. I learned today what Ear Worm meant. Thanks for that little fragment. I won't event get into family drama ... it's Friday.

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  14. It seems like everyone has a bit of drama in their families. You're right, it's the weekend and time to forget all worries!

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  15. I can't imagine the stress you have every day. At least I can walk away. You don't have that luxury. =(

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