Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The good, the bad, and the ugly...

Okay ladies, it's about time I was honest and open up. My blog has mainly been about the good parts of my life. I like everyone to see the happy me and I tend to put on a front.

However; I have been suffering from depression and anger for about 10 years. I've been on and off different medications during that time. The last one was Lexipro. Lexipro made me feel a bit better ~ but so tired all the time! I wasn't depressed but I just didn't care about anything either. Around Christmas time I dedicded to stop taking all my medication and slowly cut down until I was taking nothing. Well that wasn't the smartest thing in the world for me to do! Although it did help me realize that I do need help and cannot fight this battle alone. I have been weepy and cranky and feeling really sad. Most of the time I am too busy being a mom that I can't let the sadness take over. But there are times when I feel so low and down ~ I really don't like myself.

I went to the doctors today and asked to be put back on medication. The new medication is called Pristiq. I haven't heard of it before. The doctor said it doesn't have as many side affects such as weight gain, loss of sexual desire, drowsiness, etc. I really hope this does the trick. I'm so tired of being the way I am. Constantly having to fight the "depression demons" (as I fondly refer to them) inside me.

So I realized that it's not my real life you are seeing if you only see parts I want you to see. Now you know my dark secrets. Now you have it ~ Tami ~ the good, the bad and the ugly!!

11 pretty purplexing comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing Tami. That took a huge effort on your part to be so brutally honest. Keep going one day at a time. I care a lot! Hang in there... xo xo

  2. Tami, it only makes one understand that we all have our own issues....hang in there...live in the moment...blogging is about not being judged and excepting all that we are!

  3. I hear you. I have been on anti depressants on and off for 19 years. I tried 18 months ago to go off, very very slowly, and spent the following 9 months just feeling dreadful. I am so happy to be 'fully medicated' again and living and enjoying life to the fullest. I hope you start to feel better very soon. I find starting a new drug can be quite challenging too - be gentle to yourself during this transition time. The beauty of blogging is you can write whatever you want.

  4. Thanks for the nice comments. I appreciate the words of encouragement. I took a nap this afternoon and have a better outlook. Isn't funny what sleep can do for your mind.?.

  5. Tami thanks for sharing I hope we live in a world today of love and exceptance and understanding. I have not felt myself lately and know I need to get a grasp on it. But like Ina said sometimes it is one day at a time and dont beaqt your self up over it. Baby steps. We are not perfect! We are all friends and care alot!There is a great support here.

  6. Tami,
    You are an honest, amazing person! Your blog reflects who you are to us, that is true, but we also see some things you might not see about yourself,
    boundless, postive energy, creativity, devotion to friends and family, thoughtful insight, sense of humour- you really NOTICE things, and perseverance.
    And you are right, a good nights sleep or a little nap can make the world of difference.
    I think you're the best!

  7. Tami,
    Thanks for opening up and sharing with us. I have never met you, but your post brought tears to my eyes. I hope this new medication is perfect for you! I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I check back to your blog so often because I like the Tami that has such a beautiful blog, family, and hockey stories. I care about the good, the bad and the ugly, feel better soon.

  8. Tami, as someone else commented, we all have issues. Your honesty is refreshing, and appreciated.

    I fight my weight, insecurities, etc. everyday. It's never easy. But we wake up every morning, and do what we have to do.

    Hang in there, and know that there are so many of us that are right there with you.

    Hugs from me to you girl.


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