The end of the hockey road

This is Brandon's last year of playing hockey.  I was grateful to watch him play at least one more year, for Elizabethtown College.  Next year he is transferring to another college. One that doesn't have a hockey team.  I feel like I am in mourning.  Brandon has played hockey since he was six years old.  To suddenly end, when it seems like yesterday he was learning how to skate, is heartbreaking.


I want every new hockey parent to read this and tuck it away and reread it when their child no longer plays. 

The very first thing Brandon's hockey coach told us was that none of our kids will be going to NHL. Here's a few things he forgot to mention that first year: 

You WILL go to the wrong rink. You will get thrown out of a rink.

There will be times you call another players mother an asshole. You will hear other parents call YOUR child an asshole. There are times you will agree with them. The first time you hear your child curse will be at the rink. It may be the first time you hear his church going grandma curse too. You will be threatened with jail time. You will threaten other people with jail time. You will get in arguments with strangers. That six year old that you called an asshole will STILL be an asshole when you play him again at 16. So will his mother. So will your son. So will you. So is every ref you will EVER meet. Especially when you lose.

You will plan strategies for the championship game after you consumed a six pack. You will be so frustrated after a game that you just may leave your player at a rink in another town. You might even do it on purpose. 

You will think the coach can't coach. You will think you CAN coach. You will believe this even more after a few drinks at the hotel bar. (It doesn't matter that he played D1 hockey, YOU have watched thousands of games.) 

You will spend more money on one stick than your current car payment.  

Your child will play with an ear infection, he will play with strep throat and he will play with 102 fever. Heck, he probably got it from a teammate . Illness spreads through a hockey team quicker than a line change. 

There will NEVER be a reason your player deserved that penalty. You will defend your son to referees, coaches, other parents but mostly to hotel security in other states. Your entire house including your back porch and garage will be decorated with hockey gear 12 months out of the year, not just during hockey season. 

You will share hotel rooms, car rides and every childhood illness. Your player will miss more school then all of your other children combined. Most of those "sick" days will be tournament Fridays. When the Elementary school principal smiles smugly on a Monday morning and asks your child how he's feeling it's because he KNOWS you were in New York on Friday for a game. 

Most weekends you will wake up with six or more players sleeping in your living room. You will know these players by number and birth year, not always by name. That mom you called an asshole just might end up as the manager on your team the following season and her asshole son will be one of the numbers asleep on your living room floor. 

You will refer to 7 AM as midday. You will laugh and happily pay the 90 registration fee you used to complain about for little league. You will try to convince your hockey player to go out for little league. You will quickly realize the Stanley Cup isn't the most important cup. 

You won't realize how fast the time is going, you won't appreciate it and you will miss it. No your child is NOT going to the NHL. He probably won't even play D1. (Thank God for men's league.) But he will learn how to lace up his own skates and in the end, those tiny little skates will be bigger than a squirt parent's ego after a championship win. And that coach, the one who you swore couldn't coach and offended you by saying your little cherub wasn't going to the NHL, you'll want to thank him. Thank him for his time, his talent and for his help in turning your son into a man.

Chubby Bunny

We played a really fun game at our New Years Eve party.

We were all laughing so hard that our stomachs hurt and tears were rolling down our faces.

In the game, each participant usually places a marshmallow into their mouth and says "chubby bunny".

 If they are able to state the whole phrase, usually in a comprehensible manner that the other participants wholly concur to, they pass that round.

Each successful player then adds an additional marshmallow to the one already in his or her mouth and repeats the phrase. A player who fails to complete the phrase is eliminated from the game. 

The process continues until only one player remains. 

After the penultimate player loses the game, the winning player might have to place one more marshmallow into his or her mouth and may have to state the phrase once more. 

The winner of the game is the player who fits the most marshmallows into his or her mouth

AND WE HAVE OUR WINNER!!

Happy New Year!!

The Best Man Dance

I saw a totally different side of my son the night of his friends wedding.

NEVER did I ever image that Ahren would set foot on a dance floor.

Not only was I surprised to see him ON the dance floor, but having FUN dancing!!

He danced with me.

 He danced with the Uncle of the bride.

 With the brides Grandmom.

 And even with the Father of the bride.

He was the BEST best-man EVER and the life of the party!!

Chocolate Pudding Fruit

Ahren found on the internet a food that sounded exotic and yet affordable.

Chocolate Pudding Fruit.  So he ordered it. 

A Chocolate Pudding Fruit Tree arrived in the mail!

A TREE! 

What's even funnier is that the tree doesn't grow fruit until 3 or 4 years from now!!

Conversations with Brandon {The Roommate}

One thing freshman college students become anxious over is meeting their roommate.  Who wouldn't be?!  You have to share a small room with a stranger for an entire school year! As a parent, you hope for the best.  Luckily Brandon likes his roommate even though they don't have a lot in common.  His roommate is on the quite side (anyone who knows Brandon knows he is definitely not quiet!), he is shy and doesn't leave the dorm room much (Brandon is a social butterfly) and he plays a lot of video games (Brandon plays some, but would rather be doing something active).  

Some of the text messages I have been getting from Brandon I find amusing.
I'll share a few:

The day we moved Brandon in he was wearing a shirt from a hockey tournament he played in. The tournament was called "The Flyers Cup".  (btw: Brandon is a NJ Devils fan).

Hahahahaha my roommates mom thought I was a flyers fan so I went along with it and she was like thank god your not some devils fan!  I almost lost it!!

Day two: Saturday night.  
Brandon is headed out to Rita's Water Ice with a few new friends he made.  I asked him if his roommate was going.
No, He is reading his accounting book lol....

Monday: first day of classes
I'm going to be huge because I'm just going to lift twice a day!! I can't stay cooped up in this damn room ! 
My roomate is eating his moms homemade cookies and playing Call of Duty 
It's all he does. Yeah, he needs to put some damn headphones in I'm not listening to Call of Duty all night.

A week later....
I teasingly asked Brandon if he has corrupted his roommate yet:

It's college mom! The poor kid needs these basic skills!!!

What would his mama think? 

His mom sent him a card with 10 dollars in it 

Does he get embarrassed?

No, I laugh with him about it. 

Still playing video games?

Oh yeah. 

A few days later:

Dude got his own tv so we can take mine one home. I don't need it, its just sitting here. 

What was wrong with your TV?

Nothing he just wanted a bigger one, I suppose 

To play his video games on? 

All the kid does is play damn Xbox!!!

Roommate sharing any cookies with you?

I declined.

A week ago:
Bought ear plugs lol
But I can put them in my ears and broke 3 of them trying lol. 

Two days ago:

Oh no Dude's Call of Duty broke!!

That's a Major dilemma 

He was like now I have nothing to do, all I have is golf. He was about to cry I think 

He has a huge box of games????

Lol but they're not Call of Duty!! 

Today:
I can't focus with this animal watching tv and shoving his face with food. 
I have to go to the library.

Note: Brandon has a unique sense of humor. By no means are his texts message written out of anger or meant to be negative.  Some times it's difficult to understand the way a person is expressing oneself via text and can be misinterpreted. 

Cone of Shame

At first I chuckled as I watched Maggie trying to walk through out the house without bumping into stuff.  I soon felt guilty and very sorry for her.

The cone of shame was attached to the Maggie's collar with strings passing through holes punched in the sides of the plastic.  After a few days the string began to stink. Yuck!

Maggie did not adjust to the newly acquired lamp shade quite well.  

She would not eat or drink with the collar in place and we had to temporarily removed for meals.

What a pain the in butt it was to put back on too!

I had the hold the plastic part upwards towards her snout so she could get up the steps.

Maggie and I were both relieved when the cone of shame was removed!!

Zachary's Half-Time Show

There was a time when the Philadelphia Eagles were Zachary's favorite football team.

Super Bowls are a big deal at our house. 

Especially in 2005 when the Eagles made it to the big game!

 During half time Zachary put on his own show by using his sneaker as a football.

Unfortunately both Zachary and the Eagles Quarterback, 

Donovan McNabb couldn't get the job done!

Zach lost his shoe.

The Eagles lost the Super Bowl.

 Zachary gave up on the Eagles and now likes the Denver Bronco's.  The Bronco's made it to the Super Bowl once since Zachary started following them, but they lost too.  

This time, however, he didn't give up on the Bronco's and every year looks forward to his team possibly participating in the Super Bowl!!