Zachary Graduates College

For the last two years Zachary has attended Full-Sail University in FL.  He pursued a degree in Recording Arts.  The accelerated program he completed earned him a Bachelors Degree.

Growing up Zachary preferred to be at home. His friends came over to our house.  He didn't like to go places, he even didn't like going on vacations.  You can imagine how big of a surprise it was to us when he decided to move from PA to attend college in Florida!!

When he first left I cried for days. I was sad to see him go, but I was also happy for him to be getting on with his life. I wanted to see him happy and productive even if it meant him being so far away from me.

His father and I are very proud of him for taking a chance and for succeeding!   We are excited to see where his new adventure begins!!

Elizabethtown College

Well... I did it!  I managed to drop Brandon off to college without having a melt down.

I seriously thought I would be devastated and crying the entire hour and half home. 

Don't get me wrong, I did have tears. Just not hysterical, Niagara Falls tears.

Seeing how nice the campus is and the friendly faces of other students has made my 

'parent-letting-go' phase a whole lot better.  

Brandon: down in front with black shirt.

Brandon: rear right with white shirt.

I have read on the internet that kids leaving the nest are "launching out", "becoming his own person", "growing independent","becoming a free moral agent", blah..blah...blah.  But they don't always sound so positive and gentle when he's lived out his entire life in our home. 

Library

However, I hate to admit that they are right: my teenager is separating from me and gravitating toward his new college friends.  I logically understand that this process is normal, natural and necessary. I know if I fight it, I will lose. 

Brandon moving away is particularly difficult for me because he is my youngest child.  The first two weeks were difficult for him too.  He was out of his realm and didn't think he'd meet friends or like it there.  His Dad and I encouraged him to stick it out and involve himself with clubs.  He may or may not always take our advice.  We've been lucky that Brandon shares a lot of his life with us.  Of course, sometimes it seems like de doesn't want us around.  I have come to the conclusion that I will be there for him - just in case.

Student lounge

 Originally Brandon was going to work at the Jay's Nest (which is the cafeteria).  He has experience working with food because he had a job at a local pizza shop for a few years.  His first training session at the Jay's Nest was on the grill and things were fine.  However, his first shift they put him on register.  He has never worked a register and felt very uncomfortable.  He spoke to the manager about it and she was really rude to him. He later sent his resignation in an email and said it wasn't going to work out.  The manager wrote back a very unprofessional response. (I know because I read the email she wrote to him.)

Cafeteria

outside of cafeteria

Brandon is a very healthy eater.  He is having a difficult time finding things at the cafeteria that aren't fried or greasy.  Last time he was home I made him a lot of chicken and rice, filled up tupperware containers and sent them back to school with him to put in his dorm fridge.

After his second week - Brandon went on a date, joined the hockey team and also the men's league hockey team.  He has made quite a few friends and is adjusting.  He is a very social person, I knew once he gave the college a chance he would be fine.

Business facility.

Brandon is studying business.  His first business class is Accounting 101.  His first test he got a C and was not happy at all!   The next two he earned A's.  He is learning it's a lot of work and studying, much different that high school.

business department

Business Dow Jones Wall

Classrooms

Math & Science Building

Lecture Hall

They gymnasium offers a lot of sports and activities for the students.  Ice hockey is not one of them.  The boys have to drive to a rink for practices and games.  The rink Brandon will be practicing on is a rink he played at with his travel team over the years.  The rink they are playing games on is a much better rink and is about 2 hours away from my home.  Brandon asked me if I was going to his games. I said Hell Yeah!  I'm not missing one of his games.  I would say it's been a handful of games I may have missed since he has played in 3rd grade.  I had to feel like I was on my death bed before I'd not attend a game.  (Yeah, I'm one of those crazy hockey moms).

Gymnasium Building

Dorms

His dorm is a bit small, but nice.  He likes his roommate, even though they don't have a lot in common.  It's important to get along with your roommate. Otherwise living on campus would be a terrible experience.  

Where outdoor events take place.

chapel

 The chapel is one of the most beautiful buildings I have seen.  Elizabethtown College was founded in 1899 by the Church of the Brethren.  The college offers religious studies.

chapel

 I hope you enjoyed the campus photos of Elizabethtown College.  It really is gorgeous.

Conversations with Brandon {The Roommate}

One thing freshman college students become anxious over is meeting their roommate.  Who wouldn't be?!  You have to share a small room with a stranger for an entire school year! As a parent, you hope for the best.  Luckily Brandon likes his roommate even though they don't have a lot in common.  His roommate is on the quite side (anyone who knows Brandon knows he is definitely not quiet!), he is shy and doesn't leave the dorm room much (Brandon is a social butterfly) and he plays a lot of video games (Brandon plays some, but would rather be doing something active).  

Some of the text messages I have been getting from Brandon I find amusing.
I'll share a few:

The day we moved Brandon in he was wearing a shirt from a hockey tournament he played in. The tournament was called "The Flyers Cup".  (btw: Brandon is a NJ Devils fan).

Hahahahaha my roommates mom thought I was a flyers fan so I went along with it and she was like thank god your not some devils fan!  I almost lost it!!

Day two: Saturday night.  
Brandon is headed out to Rita's Water Ice with a few new friends he made.  I asked him if his roommate was going.
No, He is reading his accounting book lol....

Monday: first day of classes
I'm going to be huge because I'm just going to lift twice a day!! I can't stay cooped up in this damn room ! 
My roomate is eating his moms homemade cookies and playing Call of Duty 
It's all he does. Yeah, he needs to put some damn headphones in I'm not listening to Call of Duty all night.

A week later....
I teasingly asked Brandon if he has corrupted his roommate yet:

It's college mom! The poor kid needs these basic skills!!!

What would his mama think? 

His mom sent him a card with 10 dollars in it 

Does he get embarrassed?

No, I laugh with him about it. 

Still playing video games?

Oh yeah. 

A few days later:

Dude got his own tv so we can take mine one home. I don't need it, its just sitting here. 

What was wrong with your TV?

Nothing he just wanted a bigger one, I suppose 

To play his video games on? 

All the kid does is play damn Xbox!!!

Roommate sharing any cookies with you?

I declined.

A week ago:
Bought ear plugs lol
But I can put them in my ears and broke 3 of them trying lol. 

Two days ago:

Oh no Dude's Call of Duty broke!!

That's a Major dilemma 

He was like now I have nothing to do, all I have is golf. He was about to cry I think 

He has a huge box of games????

Lol but they're not Call of Duty!! 

Today:
I can't focus with this animal watching tv and shoving his face with food. 
I have to go to the library.

Note: Brandon has a unique sense of humor. By no means are his texts message written out of anger or meant to be negative.  Some times it's difficult to understand the way a person is expressing oneself via text and can be misinterpreted. 

Conversations with Zachary {Michael Jackson and 50 Shades of Grey}

Zachary:
I know you are not with the time music wise, as in you listen to pop like Maroon 5.

Ouch!

But I got a few questions. First did you hear the new Weeknd song? "Can't Feel My Face"?  Sounds like MJ. But towards this generation. 
I mean his sound is so unique even comparing him to MJ is a compliment, because he's not trying to be MJ, but he has the voice that is just crazy.
I'm saying if you haven't,  please listen to it now. 
"The Weeknd - can't feel my face" you don't have to enjoy the lyrics but his voice is blessed. 

ME:
Okay.

I found it on you-tube. Not bad!
 

Zachary:
I want to know what you think of that song. Cause I know you might feel the vibe and I got another song for that is from a pop singer but it had the vine beat and flow wise that I love. And if I can really bump this song I'm sure there is a chance you might like it but different to you. But The Weeknd song you'll like more .

ME:
You're right. Reminds me of Michael Jackson.  But I like this guys voice better.

Zachary:
I'm not comparing them cause if you listen to the songs he has. It is completely different.  His songs are about drugs and women and all that, Explicit, but you can hear the MJ influence.

ME:
It's not my style of music, but it was good. 

HEY!  They sing a song in 50 Shades of Grey!

Zachary:
You just realized this??  I didn't even watch the movie and I knew.

I recall just being told I am not with it music wise.... and he is surprised??!!  I am impressed with myself that I recognized the singer!!

Zachary:
Now listen to Selena Gomez ft A$AP "Good For You".  I'm curious what you think of that. Cause it has a pop feel but more rap with a slow vibe but singing. Her pop fans love it and the vibe is what I look for in rap music. So I can't help but like it.

Found that one on You-tube also.  Liked it!

ME:
I like that one.

Zachary:
Did you hear it before or you just listen?

ME:
Just listened to it.  I don't listen to the radio, so I don't know any of these songs.

Zachary:
I don't listen to girl artists. But this has me comming back. And trust me I don't listen to the radio. But I keep up to what The Weeknd does cause I'm a fan.



I guess paying for him to go to an University that focuses on music and audio production was a wise choice!

Dear Brandon

Love is not easy to put into words, especially a mother’s love, the depth of which is unfathomable.

When I look at you now, tall and strong, I don’t just see an eighteen-year-old man, I see you in all of your life’s stages at once.  I see you as a newborn in my arms in the shadows of midnight, a blur of curly blonde hair racing to keep up with your brothers, the pink shirts you wore throughout elementary school, the tender realization in your eight-year-old green eyes that stealing the hockey puck was okay. (Who knew that sharing with others didn’t apply in sports?)

I remember the day you came home from Kindergarten and told me the teacher forgot to talk about Jesus, the way your face lit up when you opened your first pair of hockey skates on Christmas morning, green blankie, Funny Monkey, calling you “Moose”, your first hockey game (and first hockey fight), the 8th grade formal dance, singing “It’s Raining Men” during the cruise karaoke night, your first heartbreak, first job at Center Ice, learning to drive the car (and first ticket), prom, a proud captain of your travel and school hockey teams, winning the EPSHL championship, and now, a man.

As much as a mother raises her son, so does a son raise his mother.  You have taught me many things as I have watched you grow.  From you I have learned the power of a tender heart as I have witnessed your quiet kindness to others all of your life.  Your teachers throughout grade school up to high school always remarked how much they loved having you in class (Though there was that rough patch with Miss Shriner). You attract friends wherever you go, and I admire how loyal you are to them. 

You have a natural tenacity and ability to accept life as it unfolds.  This is a skill that will serve you well in the years to come, because life is about transformation, a decades long process of becoming. There are chapters, but no destinations. In the years to come, as you are surprised or sidelined unexpectedly or sent in directions unanticipated, remember that it is unfolding as it should be. 

You taught me how to find joy in the moment. You have the gift of turning the mundane into amusement.  You see comic irony in the world around you. Your wry humor is a constant source of delight that lightens our days.  It reminds us to relax and not take everything so seriously. I will miss this tremendously when you go to college.  

Brandon, I love you. You are the son that every mother dreams of having. I could not be more thankful for you and proud of the man you have become.  Your character and integrity are important to you.  You are finding your voice and moving forward in positions of leadership.  

Choose wisely and you will live without regret, because real and lasting happiness has nothing to do with material possessions, it is a result of living your values, even when it is difficult. Even when choosing to stand for what is right means that you will lose friends or perhaps a job/position.

Senior year is a year of letting go, when motherhood becomes a complicated mixture of pushing you forward and holding you back. Every day I cry a few tears (okay, a lot of tears) as I get used to the idea of your moving on from our home, but at the same time, I am so excited for you to embrace this next phase of life.  Have fun, work hard, and enjoy every single day.

I am in your corner, your loudest cheerleader, and proudest Elizabethtown College Mother EVER!  ~ Love, Mom

Conversations with Zachary {Wasp Nest}

Zachary: Mom we have a situation.

(of course my brain automatically thinks he crashed his car or something bad happened).

Me: What's wrong?

Zachary: There was a wasp nest outside my balcony and I knocked it down.

(phew)

Me:  You better be careful they don't come after you.

Zachary: They are still flying around, what do I do?

Me:  Are they in the house?

Zachary: No outside the window.  I didn't have wasp spray so I used Lysol and it got all over the furniture.

(apparently Zachary was inside the house spraying through an open window trying to get to the wasps).

Me: Get a damp washcloth.

Zachary: To pick up the wasps?

Me: No, wipe off the furniture.

Zachary: oh.

Me:  Did the Lysol work?

Zachary: Got them, but the war just started.

Me: Call the apartment complex office and tell them to send out the pest control company.

Zachary:  What do I do if they are dead?

Me: Pick the wasp up with a paper towel and throw it away.

Zachary: I forgot to get paper towels at the store.

Me:  When you go to the store go get paper towels, pick up some wasp spray.

Fears I am facing

A mother always worries about her children, whether they are young or older.  The fears I am currently facing are about my children.  I am scared of...

• Ahren being stuck in a job he hates and talking about getting a new job that is hours away from home.
• Zachary graduating from college and potentially getting a job on the other side of the country in CA.
• Brandon going away to college in the fall.

These things may not seem scary, but as their mother, it is. I'm sure other mom's out there can understand how I feel.  The fear of your child moving far away is bad enough, but all three of my boys?!  It's devastating!  I know, I know... all children grow up and leave the nest.  They may be ready to leave, but I'm not ready to let go.  The feelings of sadness, grief, depression, emptiness and loss are overwhelming.  I'm having difficulty coping with the thought of an empty nest.

Ahren, me, Brandon and Zachary

Most of my life I have focused on raising my boys and caring for the home and family.  It seems like all of a sudden my kids are gone!

What do I do now?  

Recently a good friend made a statement that has helped me through a few bad days. She said "Congratulations, you are blessed! Give yourself a big pat on the back for raising wonderful boys!".  She is right!!  I am very blessed.

I will begin this new stage of being a parent whether I am ready or not.  I have to learn the delicate balance of letting the boys know they have my support but at the same time allowing them to be independent.

Often easier said than done.

Spring Break

Zachary has been home on spring break for almost a week.  It's been nice having him around again.  

I'm glad he was home to celebrate Easter with us.

Egg hunts are a thing in the past. 

 My boys think they are too old for an egg hunt, but they are okay with getting Easter baskets on Easter morning.

We spent Easter with Todd's parents and his brother's family.

Maggie's spring break was spent with a cone around her head.

 Poor baby.  

She had surgery to get spayed.

The vet also tattooed a state license number on her.  In the state of PA, you have to apply annually for a dog license.  Because Maggie is tattooed, we never have to get another dog license for her.  That save a few dollars.   Pretty soon the cone will come off and stitches out.  Maggie will be good as new!