Thursday, May 30, 2013

Growing up and Graduating

I can hardly believe that my baby boy has grown up and graduating high school.  
It wasn't that long ago that we took him to his first petting zoo, or decorated his first pumpkin. 
It wasn't that long ago he played baseball..
…or played lacrosse.

It wasn't that long ago that he actually smiled in a picture!
 It wasn't that long ago that he got his first dog.
 It wasn't that long ago that he was a funny, quirky pre-teenager.
It wasn't long ago that he didn't think blowing the candles out on his birthday cake was lame.
It wasn't that long ago that he played golf and went to the prom.
It wasn't that long ago that he grew into a fine young man!

It seemed to go by so fast and I am very proud of Zach.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Bipolar is Scary

Before I have a Bipolar 'episode' I withdrawal from family and friends.

Before I have a Bipolar 'episode' I am hateful and spiteful.

Before I have a Bipolar 'episode' I want to cry all the time.

During an 'episode' comes anger RAGE I cannot control
(please don't be angry with me)

During an 'episode' comes sadness DEPRESSION that is so overwhelming 
(even suicide is in the back of my mind)
Call Suicide Prevention Life Line
Bipolar takes over my mind and 
I have wicked, unreasonable thoughts.

When I have an 'episode' I hate myself.

When I have an 'episode' I have panic attacks.

When I have an 'episode' I am crying out for help.

During an 'episode' my husband doesn't know how to help me.
(which makes me sad I put him in that position).

During an 'episode' my husband thinks I do not love him.
(which is so far from the truth).

After I have an 'episode' I feel guilty and worthless.

After I have an 'episode' I feel empty.

Bipolar scares me.  

I know I am more than my mental illness but it is also a part of who I am.

I am not my illness. 

I am worthy of love and friendship.

I need to take everyday as it comes.

Life in my head is hard.

I can overcome Bipolar!


Friday, May 24, 2013

Memorial Day Weekend

What have you been up to this week?

I got a laptop for Mothers Day because we thought my old laptop was causing a printer problem.
It didn't work.
Laptop was returned.
Back to square 1 with the printer problem.
Our community had a yard sale last weekend.
It didn't go as well as I thought, but I am $76.00 richer and the garage is cleaner.
My husband's birthday falls on Memorial Day weekend.
A picnic is planned at his brothers house.
The forecast calls for rain.
Zachary is graduating in a few weeks.
Where did the time go?
The air-conditioner broke in my car - AGAIN!
Not good timing since we have had an abnormal heat wave.
The heat makes me cranky!
School is almost over.
My summer work schedule is lighter.
I l.o.v.e. summer!
Which sounds crazy since the heat makes me cranky.
Have you ever had a pen pal?
You know, the kind where you actually write a letter instead of email?
I did as a teenager. A girl from Japan.
I wonder whatever happened to her?
Now I have a new pen pal from Australia.
We met thru blogging but we both thought it would be fun to go back to pen and paper!
Have a wonderful three day weekend!


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Senior Prom

Zachary has always been quiet, reserved and one who kept to himself.
It came as a surprise to me when he said he was going to his Senior Prom.
Getting dates, dress color and other details was like pulling teeth.
It really is frustrating raising a teenage boy!
Two weeks before the prom, Zachary finally brings home a swatch of his dates dress. We went to get a tux and match the vest / tie to her dress.  Let me tell you, lime green is hard to match up!
When Zach and I stopped to get flowers, I asked him what type he would like to get his date.  
He said "I don't know Mom, you pick them out."  
He was nervous to put the wristlet onto Olivia's wrist.
But he did just fine.
Zach and Olivia went to the prom with another couple.
I loved the colors of their dresses.
Zach even 'smirked' a bit.  It's probably as close to a smile as I could get.
Zach had a good time, even danced!  
Perhaps my introvert son has emerged from his shell.