I suppose every family has skeletons in the closet. My story begins as a small child. I'm telling you this so you understand how I got to the point of leaving my job. My mother remarried when I was about 11 or 12. I remember being devestated that my parents divorced and my mom replaced my father so quickly. My father drank alot and so did my new step-father. My sisters and I had a rocky childhood. My stepdad was verbally abusive and would sarcasticly put my sisters and I down. He thought the things were funny and would laugh. As a child, I was deeply hurt and the scars are still there today. As I got older my stepdad became my "dad". He even walked me down the isle at my wedding. I had a full time job when Ahren was small. During that time I helped my mom and dad by typing up invoices or letters. Little things here and there. Zachary was born when Ahren was five. It was so hard for me to keep my full time job. Ahren got dropped off at the YMCA and Zachary got dropped off at a different sitter, then I had to drive another 35 minutes to work. It was a blessing when I got laid off when Zachary was six months old. In 1995 my dad then hired me part time to help his growing business and I also watched my neighbors children. So during the day I watched 5 children (sometimes 6) and at night I would go to my parents house and work. I was exhausted! There was a lot of tension between my mother and I. She would look over my shoulder why I tried to work, was critical, etc. Also I would have to listen to my dad put down my mom while I was there. The stress level was so high, I couldn't stand it! After a few years of this I asked my dad to move the office to my house. Things were okay while the office was in my house. It was easier for me to get the work done and be with the boys. In 2004 my dad had the opportunity to purchase another pest control company and the building they were in. So my life changed! I now had to drive to work and not be at home as much. I should have been okay with this because I could be with the boys when I needed to. But I cried for about two years. It was so hard for me to work in an office setting. Different tension began when the boys were sick or something came up and I could not be in the office, however; I always came in if I was sick or would bring the boys in sick just so the work would get done. I barely took any vacations. I was also becoming depressed and didn't care anymore. My dad was getting angry with me and I in return. So this pattern has been going on for five years. After 14 years of working for my father with having a strained relationship to begin with ~ I just can not take it anymore.
I wrote this in response to those who asked for the background information or didn't understand why I quit. There is so much more detail that goes into the story. More tension because my parents didn't understand why we had to be so hard on Ahren (he has ADHD and Bipolar). My dad accused my husband of things that were untrue and uncalled for. Too many emotions are running high and I am about to have a mental breakdown! For my health, sanity and my children I need to find something that makes me happy.
I must tell you though that my life (other than work) has been a good one. I have a great husband and I am blessed with wonderful children.
Hodgepodge Questions-Volume 572
17 hours ago
Tami, Thanks for sharing that with us. Sometimes writing it down takes a load off a tiny bit. I am so sorry things were not better between your dad and you. Maybe some day things will change. I think it is so neat that your doing what you love to do by taking care of children. It takes that special someone to do that and we all know you are special! Have a good week and I can't wait to get back to Minnesota on Saturday to get caught up with everyone's blogs.
ReplyDeleteTami,
ReplyDeleteI am absolutely blown with your ability to juggle all of that for so long. Now that you've closed that door on your life God will open another door in it.
Thanks for sharing and your mental health is far more important. You are lucky to have a great husband and boys. I think you made the right choice and will be thankful in the long run. Maybe this will mend the relationship alittle.
ReplyDeleteTami,
ReplyDeleteI think you are a survivor. You and your family have to come first. If mom isn't happy, the family can't be. I didn't mean to be so nosy I just didn't see it coming so soon. Now I understand the environment you were working in and the history of negative feeling. I realize it wasn't a sudden decision.
I agree with Two blessings, it is good to write it down and I do think that when one door closes another will open.
Chin up!
I am hoping this will the beginning of the healing. Perhaps our relationships will become better without the stress involved. Right now I feel so much happiness. I wake up with a postivie outlook. And I am SMILING all the time! I love life!
ReplyDeleteTami, I'm glad you made the decision to leave your job. We've only got one chance to be happy in life and you've got to do what makes you happy. Obviously, that wasn't it. You are brave for doing this, and I give you a lot of credit. I really hope you have a great time with your new career and "little campers". I look forward to hearing lots about it!
ReplyDeleteI am really glad I started this blog. I have developed friends from so far away and yet you are close to my heart! Thank you for being so supportive! I will definately keep you updated! xoxo ~Tami
ReplyDeleteHi Tami, wow you were right to get out of that toxic environment. You endured so much for too long. You should have had a happy childhood. I am thankful for your boys and husband. I hope you have thought through your new choice very thoroughly and I wish you well! Said with love. xo
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost. You do realize we don't need an explanation - you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. But, as an outsider, it does help to understand the background of issues. I've been reading your blog long enough to know that you are a good person with a big heart. I have a real thing about martyrs. Mothers who moan and whine about how much is on their plate, but do nothing to alleviate the stress for themselves - some like the victim mentality. I take my hat off to you for taking a stand for yourself and your family. I am so pleased that you made this difficult decision and love reading the excitement that you feel about the new chapter of your working life. Stay true to yourself!
ReplyDelete