Thursday, January 17, 2013

How NOT to be a Super Mom!

A friend is struggling with being a mom, wife and juggling her career at the same time.  She turned to her friends and asked for ideas to make things easier.

Any woman who takes on the selfless and unconditional responsibility to nurture the emotional and physical well-being of her kids and manages to do that successfully amid the chaos of running a household and often juggling a career has to be a Super Mom! Right?

I asked myself what I thought it meant to be a Super Mom.

I personally think being a Super Mom is a notion and not reality. She is a woman who has been programmed to 'do all' and 'be all' for everyone.  Women have been taught to maintain a clean home, feed our family healthy foods, be the nurse, the care-giver, the taxi driver, the chef, the counsellor, the coach, the motivator, the boo-boo kisser and the list goes on.

She is also a completely stressed out and unhappy Mom with a family that is also not happy.

Then I asked myself what I thought it took to be a GOOD mom.

She is a mom who knows how to say No!
Someone who asks their family for help and can delegate tasks.
A loving yet firm parent and who can be spontaneous.
A woman who cultivate friendships with moms of all ages for support and advice.
A woman who understands that in order to take care of her family, significant other, and/or business, she must care for herself too!
A mom who can enjoy being a mom!

I asked my boys their opinion. 
(Ahren, 23)

Me: "Ahren, what do you think makes a good mom?"

Ahren:  "Taking kids on vacation like The Please Touch Museum, Cape Cod, or Disneyland.  Where are we going this year?"

Moocher.  :-D

(Zachary, 17 years old)

Me: "Zach, what do you think makes a mom a good mom?"

Zachary: "Google it!"

Me: "Come on Zach. What do you think makes a good mother?"

Zachary: "A cool Mom is the best Mom."

Me: "Am I cool?"

Is rolling of the eyes really an answer?

(Brandon, 15)

Me: "Brandon, what do you think makes a mom a good one?

Brandon: "Some one who helps with homework.  By the way Mom, I have an essay due tomorrow. Can you help?"


I asked my husband.

Me: "Honey, what do you think makes a good mom?"

Todd:  "A woman just like you!"

Points award to this man!


I can handle being a not-so-cool travel agent, homework-helping kind-of-Mom.


18 pretty purplexing comments:

  1. I think you're a pretty awesome mom and I am amazed at how you do it all!

  2. awesome. i love this. and i love their answers.

  3. My boys keep me laughing! Thats for sure!

  4. You are an awesome mom and awesome friend!

  5. Loved this, Tami! I always enjoy reading your perspectives and witty posts! You are an awesome mom! I admire the relationship you have with your sons! Have a wonderful day! Xoxox

  6. *applause*
    I have an often edited and not quite ready for publication yet blog post in my drafts folder concerning the "obsession and glorification of busy" in our modern lives. One day maybe I will be able to "say" it right and hit publish.

    but for now.....this is pretty darn close to perfection my friend!

  7. Well said!! I don't think I will ask my kids what they think a super mom would look like. I don't have a blue shirt with a red S on the front. It is entirely possible to take on too much, and if the goal is a good mother, then the kids need to be a priority. If a good wife, then the husband. Good homemaker, I guess a balance of all that. But balance is so hard!!! I remember how stressed I was when I was working full time, hubby was doing his master's full time, and there were 3 small kids running around half naked ;-)

    I hope you friend finds her balance, her peace, and an inner joy. Happiness is a fleeting emotion, joy comes from the soul.

  8. Your words mean (and applause) mean a lot to me!!

  9. I work full-time, but I am lucky to be able to do that in my home. That doesn't mean I get to do housework during the time I am working. I can, however, throw in a load of wash once in awhile. =)

  10. I agree with your list of what makes a good the boys answers made me laugh! And Todd is the smartest man I know! You're a great cool Mom! I'm gonna ask Katelyn that question when she gets home! Have a great weekend!

  11. I'm curious to what Katelyn will say too! Have a good weekend!!
    ps. I mailed your gift yesterday. =D

  12. I like that you also included the boys' opinions and not just your own. That's being a good mom :-) And kudos to the hubby for giving the right answer.

  13. HI Tami
    I was stupid and told her about your post and than ask her what makes a good Mom she totally try to do a Todd answer and I was like no way cheater! Than she answered someone that is my best friend like you....I'll take that but I know it's cause I buy her shoes! Lol! Yeah a gift for me you are tooooooo kind!

  14. It's a tough, often overlooked, essential job that has future rewards.

    Hey - different topic but one you know better than me - ice rinks. Did you notice Google paid tribute to Frank Zamboni the other day? I was looking at some related stuff and found this quote:
    “There are three things in life that people like to stare at: a
    flowing stream, a crackling fire and a Zamboni clearing the ice.”

    -- “Peanuts’ “ Charlie Brown

  15. Men! They never want to talk philosophy, do they?!

  16. Your son's answers are hilarious lol (no dinner for them tonight!) I love this post, I totally fall into the 'Good Mum' catergory, I am no Super Mum that's for sure (otherwise my house would be clean and dinner would be thought of well before 6pm)
    You are a Great Mum!!

  17. Ha ha, your kids were really cool about it, but your hubs won the award husband of the year. I guess women feel the need to do it all at the same time. Sometimes it's okay to just be an "okay" mom or an "okay" wife, I guess, we can't be great all the time.

  18. It's the letting go of being perfect that is the hard trick!


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